Monday, March 30, 2009

That Makes Me Sick

My seven year old is sporting a pair of pajamas, socks, and fever. His eyes droop until the Motrin kicks in and he is requesting bowls of spaghetti and vanilla ice cream topped with sprinkles.

Today he laid on our ottoman with his pillow, watching DVD's while my 12 year old joined him snuggling and feeling his heated skin temperature. At one point I walked into the living room to deliver some ice water and caught my fevered child breathing his hot, virus infested breath into the face of y 12 year old.

"What are you doing?" I questioned and the biggest boy replied, "I want him to breath on me so I can get sick too,"

"Your nuts!" I exclaimed and exited the living room. Evidently the thought of returning to school after the weekend was just too much to bear. A swift inhale of sick boy's breath was the perfect way to turn the traditional two-day weekend into a three-day weekend in one short minute.

His attempts failed. Poor 12 year old boy must go to school as planned.

When I was 12 I distinctly remember doing the same thing. I attempted to make myself sick so that I wouldn't have to go to school. I dipped cold dill pickles into Hershey's syrup assuming that the atrocious concoction would make me ill.

I also tried standing in the shower and turning the water from warm to cold, and cold to warm again, several times, in hopes of throwing my body temperature off kilter enough to make me sick.

My attempts also failed. I now know that one cannot become ill from being cold after being warm, or from partaking in odd food combinations. Virus must be caught. I would have been better off licking the handle of a shopping cart. Now I know.

I won't be telling my oldest son the shopping cart trick, he just might attempt it, depending on how many tests he has in the morning.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Sunday Thoughts



"Great delusion: our times of prayer ought to differ from other times."

The Practice of the Presence of God
Brother Lawerence

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Sing to the Lord a New Song

My middle mister is always the first to awake. Unfortunately, our room is close enough to the living room that I can hear everything, even with our bedroom door shut.

Yesterday, I woke up to him singing worship songs. My youngest woke up soon after him, and they were both joyfully singing. That was nice.

This morning I woke up to both of them screaming "Stop it!" and fighting over the Wii game. I had to come out of my room and discipline both of them. That is not so nice.

I prefer waking to worship songs if given a choice.

Just in case you were wondering.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Self-Defense

I have never participated in a Karate or any other self-defense class, but I am fairly sure that I could give a mugger or robber a run for his money, or my money, if push came to shove, literally.

I have a good amount of self defense mechanisms that I could unleash at any moment, if it were utterly necessary.

I could conjure up a loogie, step on some toes with my heal, blast into a nostril with my keys, high knee kick in the groin area, and twist an arm, just to name a few.

As I was web searching for safety batons, not for my personal use of course, I came across another remarkable self defense mechanism for which I wasn't aware. I stumbled upon a book devoted solely to instructing people on the art of flashlight fighting. Yes, you read that correctly. It is titled, "Flashlight fighting Book."

Clever.

"A simple 6-inch flashlight is an extremely potent self-defense weapon if wielded properly and is among the few useful items one may carry that has yet to be legislated into liability."

Now that is information, everyone must know.

I now know that if I ever find myself in downtown Los Angeles with just my purse and a flashlight, I know that I will be able to fight off a gang member or mugger as long I read up on Flashlight Fighting, and, as long as they are not yielding a gun.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Sticky

My car door is stuck. It is sticky stuck. The door is very hard to open because of the stickiness.

My son spilled a soda and it tumbled to the drivers' side of the car seeping down under the door and drying into a sticky goo. I suppose I could get a rag soaked in hot water and wipe the base of the door and floor. I suppose I could spray the goo with some all-purpose cleaner and unstick my door. I suppose I could do a lot of things, but according to my lack of doing any of these tasks, I'm too lazy and would rather bang my shoulder against the car door to help it open.

Cleaning up the mess would probably take me 5 minutes, 10 minutes tops, but I procrastinate. That's what I do.

My son should clean the mess. He made the sticky mess, but the chances of that happening aren't great.

And so I continue to drive a car, with a stuck door because of the sticky mess that is sucking the door shut.

All I need is a good rain. If we had a heavy rain and I left my car on the driveway with the drivers' side door wide open for 5 minutes, my stuck door sticky situation would be solved.

I'll pray for rain.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

It was an Accident

I have seen two car accidents in two days. Generally speaking, people need to slow down and pay attention. Me - people - included.

By God's grace plus a host of praying each time I exit my driveway, I haven't been involved in a car accident for 3 years. That's good for me. With four children, paying attention while I am driving is an after thought. Just keeping it real.

Just the other day, I pulled out of the driveway without looking really well in my rear view mirror. I had forgotten that my husband was still home and that his car was parked in the driveway.

I narrowly escaped ramming our side mirrors together, or worse, smashing the front side of his car with the back side of mine. Again, by God's grace, I left the driveway accident free.

My large car makes it difficult for me to see everything around and behind me when I am backing out of anywhere. Twice I have backed into cars that I never saw, and one of those cars I hit not once, but twice, thinking the whole time that I was hitting the curb.

One time, in a parking lot, I backed into a parked car. I went into the store to notify the shopper. When the cashier made the announcement over the loud speaker, I was sad when the lady who's car I backed into came rushing to the cashier.

"That was my car!" she announced. "Did I win a prize?"

"Yes," I thought. You won a prize. You get to rent a car on my dime while your back tail light and bumper get fixed with money from my wallet. Congratulations.

I need to pay better attention while I am driving. I figure that if I pay attention and pray, and sprinkle in some grace from God, I should be accident free for quite some time.

That's my goal.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Watered Down

We happen to live in a home that has two bathrooms, for six people. Our "master bath" has one sink, one toilet, and a sunk in bathtub and shower.

My daughter has the largest bathroom with two sinks and a single shower with no tub. Did I mention that all six of us use our small, one sink, bathroom and my daughter is the only one who uses her bathroom. Oh, and did I mention that she doesn't like her shower because it fills up with water so she uses ours, at 6:15 in the morning?

I have assembled bottles in our shower which include my shampoo and my conditioner. My special shampoo adds volume, to help with my limp locks.

My boys have "man" shampoo and body soap that smells like grass and trees mixed with musky man scent. I steer clear of those bottles.

My daughter uses my shampoo and conditioner and has her own sweet pea scented body soap and cucumber melon shave cream.

The other day the little boys were in our shower getting wet, and hardly soaping. I could tell from the laughs that they were having fun. Since they weren't arguing and screaming, I let them stay for longer than necessary.

When they were ready to get out they hollered for me to help them dry off and continued to bellow until I reached the door. That's always a treat - when kids scream at you and won't stop screaming until they see your lovely, angry, face.

When I entered the shower, I could tell that something was genuinely wrong. The tub was void of water and overflowing with piles of bubbles. My brand new, industrial sized bottle of shampoo was nearly empty. Not so fun.

I lectured the boys on how they should never use my shampoo for a bubble shower and that it was a waste of money and shampoo. They didn't get it.

When it was my turn to take a shower I had a speck of shampoo left to use. When I went to pump out some conditioner the palm of my hand filled with water. Evidently, in their attempts to ruin everything in the shower that belonged to me, they filled my conditioner bottle with water. Nice.

No more shampoo, no more conditioner, and no more boys messing with my supplies.

I left the shower smelling like, grass and trees mixed with a musky man scent - for obvious reasons.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Sunday Thoughts

"Those who determine to simplify their lives quickly discover it is a rigorous solo voyage against the wind."

Charles Swindoll
Intimacy with the Almighty

Friday, March 20, 2009

Just a Question

So I was asked the other day, "What is your favorite book of all time?"
Honestly, I had no answer.

I wasn't allowed to say the Bible, that's a given, I had to come up with something else.

I just couldn't think. I felt like I had failed in the "gaining knowledge through reading" category in life. I know that I enjoy reading. I know that there a lot of great books both classic and modern that I have discovered over the years, however, my mind went blank. That has been an issue with me - blank mind-ige.

I love to read non-fiction. Does that count? I love to learn things through reading? Will that work? Magazine are great when I am sitting at a baseball practice, the beach, or waiting in the pick-up line at school. Do I get credit for those?

The greatest book I have ever read? The Bible.

That answer isn't allowed, I know, but that is my answer and I am sticking to it. I do have one more answer which probably isn't allowed either.

SPILT MILK!!!

Now that is a great book.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

It Was Just a Matter of Time

My twelve year old boy has no problem hugging and snuggling with me on the couch. He has no problem when, just for fun, I attempt to pick him up and carry him to his room. He loves when I kiss him goodnight. He also has no issues when I reach over and rub his shoulder while I am driving and tell him that I love him. He never complains when I whistle loudly and say, "nice hit!" after he is up to bat in a baseball game.

That's all great.

However, Friday marks the day when all of the sixth grade classes,as a reward, go skating at a local roller rink.

I love all things roller skate oriented, mostly because I could out skate a normal sixth grader having worked in a roller rink for 4 years.

I asked my son if he would like me to chaperon his field trip and he couldn't say "no" fast enough. "You have to work Mom, it's okay." "You are busy, it okay." and his last attempt, "It's on Friday, you have too much to do."

I was hurt. I admit. I thought that I was the "fun mom" who's children jump at the chance to have Mom around. I mistook myself for the mom whose children beg her to go on field trips even when they are in the sixth grade, because I'm fun, and funny, and a good roller skater. I imagined my children shouting to their friends on the day of the field trip, "My mom is coming to the roller rink, and she's really cool."

I was wrong. It was just a matter of time, before my biggest boy said, "No, it's okay mom, you don't have to go. We have enough chaperons."

What if I didn't work? What would be his excuse then?

I don't want to know.

Monday, March 16, 2009

It's a Girl - Dog


We happily welcome the newest member of our family - Cali.

She just turned four, weighs 77 pounds, loves children, and is perfectly polite, so far. It has only been 24 hours.

Cali is a black lab mix and is fitting in well with our family members. She has been quite the novelty as has already be walked three times, pet and scratched numerous times, had two car rides, been given treats, fed, watered, and fought over for a sleeping partner. She even got to visit our neighbors, and my youngest noticed that their dog Rico, tried to get a "piggy back" ride from Cali. Hmmm.

We originally drove to the shelter to get her brother, a handsome golden colored boy with very soft fur. Clyde was very skittish around our noisy brood, and hid behind the trainers legs the whole time we were there. I suggested that we visit with "Star" his sister, and she instantly loved us and we loved her.

After filtering through a myriad of name changes including, Shadow, Regan, Molly, Lilly, Charlotte, and Nancy, we settled on Cali since that was the name we had picked out for our fourth child if he ended up being a she.

Our youngest is not happy about our choice of names for our new dog and continues to call her everything but Cali. He is strong willed like that. I had to threaten him with a time out for confusing out little girl and calling her six different names. He continues to be bitter, and ask for an explanation as to why he has to call her Cali.

In his last ditch name change effort, he figured out that Cali is also short for California and suggested that we our dog her Amer. "Well" he stated attempting to convince everyone that is was a choice name, "It's short for America."

That kid.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Sunday Thoughts

"I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height not depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of ?God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:38-39

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Bye Bye Birdie

So the big news of the week was from Laguna Beach. Okay, maybe it wasn't big news, but it was awesome news.

Laguna Beach is well, at the beach. Main Beach is a place where people go to people watch, play basketball, and stroll along the wooded decking licking ice cream cones while enjoying the sunshine.

One of the locals enjoys strolling with his parrot perched upon his shoulder. People like to stop him and ask questions about his bird.

On Thursday, while the gentleman was strolling and talking, a Red Tail Hawk swooped down from the sky, plucked the parrot from the gentleman's shoulder, and flew away to devour it's prey. The witnesses not only couldn't believe what they saw, they couldn't believe that the Laguna Beach Police did nothing. What were they supposed to do, arrest the hawk for murder?

Sad man+dead macaw=happy hawk. No police needed

Friday, March 13, 2009

Blog Friend!


One of the highlights of my venturing to Washington state to speak, was getting to meet a blog friend. Her blog is titled "Living in my Integrity."

Lisa and I have been reading each others blogs for a year, and I was so excited to meet her face to face as opposed to face to computer screen.

I came bearing souvenirs since this was first face to face with a fellow blogger. I wanted to make a good impression.

The first thing that I noticed about her was how pretty she was. She takes great photos on her blog, but in person she is super cute, and did I mention that she is funny, or and that we clicked like soul mates?

I told her that she needs to come to California and hang out with me. My mother chimed in and said, "You can stay with me!" She better take us up on our offer. I happen to be a great tour guide.

I cannot wait to meet other blog friends.

I would love to just travel the globe and meet new blog friends, however, I have three things that get in the way: 1. a family 2. a full-time job and 3. no money.

Such a drag.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

What Gives?

It never fails.
I'm not exaggerating.
I speak the truth on this one with very little fabrication.

I'd love to know what is the chemical that drives my little kids' bowels to move every time we are some place other than our home at dinner time.

For the umteenth time, while we were out, purchasing food for dinner, the family sits and socializes with one another and the bowels of my children begin great movement. They have to poop. We went to Red Robin the other night because I had a coupon, and returned from a flight to WA right at dinner time. Before our food arrived, both my seven and five year old had to poop.

I cannot tell you how many times I have stood in the stall of a bathroom, while my child sits, and the food at our table cools down in temperature. The wait seems like forever. Even more frustrating than the wait, for the child who continues to sit on the toilet, is the amount of insignificat questions that fly from sitting and waiting and waiting and sitting.

"Mom, how do they make tile?"
"What is your favorite food?"
"Why do they have trash cans in here?"
"Do you know that I have a quarter in my pocket?"

I suppose if we decided to eat at home, the whole hanging out in the bathroom stall for the little kids to poop and ask questions would be eliminated, however, that would mean that I would have to concoct a homemade dinner between the time I arrive home from work, 5:00, and the time we eat, 6:00, and, attempt to add a grocery store visit in that hour to purchase the ingredients. It's just easier sometimes, after poor planning, to eat out.

I just don't get it. I don't the correlation between being out for dinner and the moving of bowels. We could be at a fast food joint or Applebees, and pooping is always a must before our food arrives.

Perhaps this is just another one of those things in life I will never understand. I'm getting used to not understanding much.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Snow, Sleet, Rain, Hail, Frozen Rain, and a Bit of Sun


I had the great privilege last weekend of flying to Seattle, WA to speak at a women's conference at Overlake Christian Church. I got meet meet my blog friend Lisa. (That's another post)

I came bearing tan arms since the weekend before I left our temperatures reached the mid 70's and I was out in the sun all day
Saturday watching Little League baseball games.

I knew that Seattle had different weather than Southern California so I was prepared, okay other than my faux-snake skin pumps, but who wears clunky boots with a suit? The pumps were a must for my suit according to my very fashion forward friend.

I had no idea just how different the weather would be. In addition, I had no idea that I would experience every type of weather possible within a three day period, well, we had no tornadoes, or hurricanes.

I left sunny Southern California on Friday and arrived in sunny Seattle. Mt. Rainier was "out" meaning I could see it in and all of it's glory as opposed to having it be hidden by a multitude of clouds.

By the time we left for the conference on Friday night, it was raining. When we woke up in the morning it was hailing. It turned into balls of white stuff, not quite hail, but frozen rain. The ground outside was blanketed in white.

When we exited the conference at 3:00 it was raining again. My gracious girlfriend Mel who lives in Seattle gave me a driving tour of downtown and it was sunny. By the time we arrived back to my girlfriend Jodie's house, it was sleety snowy. At dinner time we welcomed more frozen rain.

On our way to church it was cold and cloudy. When we exited the church at 1:00 it was clear. When we arrived at the airport it was snowing. Oh my.

My head was spinning with winter weather weariness, but it was fun seeing all kinds of weather in one weekend. Fun because I didn't have to stay for days on end with four children and cabin fever.

Today I talked to my friend Jodie. She woke up to 20 degree temperatures. At least while I was there it was only in the 30's. Oooh, that's warm.

I loved-

visiting

Seattle.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Spilt Milk Book Promo



Would you like me to speak at your next women's event?
Want to give away a book on your blog? To your MOPS group?
Want to poke fun at my furrowed brow?
Let me know!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Shaky

In case you don't know, my job at Saddleback Church is working on a team that supports our regional campuses. We have three other campuses in addition to the "Mother ship" in Lake Forest, CA.

We are in the process of considering another location for a Saddleback Campus in a city called Laguna Woods, where the average age of the folks living there is 68. Yes, it is a retirement community, but these folks are active.

I am in charge of answering questions right now about the campus and going over the response cards that have been received from potential attendees. I love reading the names of the people who live there, Joan, Dottie, Evelyn, Douglas, Robert, and Mary Ellen. they names are so "old school" and fun.

The names on the cards are typically written in pen, printed neatly and legibly, and have all the information that we need. Many of them do not have email, but that is fine with us.

As I was going through the cards, I got really sad. One of the names written on a card looked as if the person writing the name was using a vibrating pen. the name was readable but each letter was squiggly. I almost started crying. I felt sorry for the woman who filled out the card and I got all emotional. I showed my friend the card, and he said,
"Why does this made you sad?"
"I just feel sorry for her that she is too shaky to write."
"Don't be sad, maybe she is one of the most joyful people in Laguna woods, and just has shaky hands."

"Do you think she is happy?"
"I bet that she is very happy."

He made me feel better, but I was still a little sad.

this assignment is going to be tough.

I get sad for older people too often and now I will be surrounded by them.

I hope that they are all Christians and get to spend eternity in Heaven, where none of them will have shaky hands.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Monday, March 2, 2009

Right of Passage

Baseball season for my three boys is in full swing - no pun intended.

This year my middle mister is playing with the big guys. Gone are the no scoring games when you hope that your child knows which base to run to, and when weed picking in the out field is an actual position.

Gone are the coaches positioned at first base, home plate, and pitcher, eager to give direction to the batter and help the ball get the where it needs to be.

These days the ball comes fast and hard. The boys play all of the positions and umpires decided the fate of the game. Official scores are kept, and wearing an athletic cup is a must.

Unlike some boys who would fuss over the inconvenience and bulk of a plastic cup stuffed inside the handy pocket in the front section of their slider shorts, my boy feels like he has crossed over from boy to man-boy with the new athletic cup requirement. I have yet to tell him that he is still only seven years old, and still a very young boy.

The first night that the "cup" came home it was immediately deemed wearable, even though the next practice wasn't for two days. My son wore his slider shorts to bed along with his cup. The next day the slider shorts were worn to school, sans the cup. He couldn't wait until practice, when the coach would call out, "Who is wearing a cup?" and he would eagerly raise his hand high into the air, tapping the cup with the knuckles of his other hand to prove his honesty.

The cup comes off after practice and then becomes a toy. It has been disguised as a bird beak, a hat, and a vessel for holding drinks. "Look mom, I can use it for water." He informs me on our way home from baseball practice. Ewe.

And so, in this family, for now, the right of passage is the ability to place slider shorts underneath your baseball pants, and insert an athletic cup in the appropriate cup holding pocket. Who knew.

I assume the next thing he will want to do is wear deodorant and shave. However, we still have some time before those lovely chores are a necessity and not just for fun.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Sunday Thoughts

Open my ears, that I may hear
Voices of truth Thou sendest clear;
And while the wave-notes fall on my ear,
Everything false will disappear. —Scott

When you know Jesus, you know who you are and where you’re going.

Our Daily Bread-February 16, 2009
www.rbc.org