Saturday, July 28, 2007

Two Things

There are two things that I do not like about summer: Back to school advertisements in July and Fall clothing merchandised in all of the stores the first day of August.

We have five weeks until school officially starts. While I am anxious to have all four of my children at school for at least two days a week, I am not in any way looking forward to homework, making lunches, uniforms, and rushing around in the early morning.

I have to keep reminding myself that we still have five weeks until the chaos begins even though my daughter has decided that she must have all of her school and locker supplies purchased now. She has convinced me that by the time August 30Th rolls around, all of the GOOD supplies will be gone. Don't ask me why I was convinced. I just spent over a hundred dollars at Target. She talks out of both sides of her mouth though by cringing when I mention school yet jonesing for the next trip to Office Depot like a cocaine addict in rehab.

Admittedly I love office supplies as does my husband. I can never have enough black inked, medium, ball point pens while my husband prefers the blue inked roller ball pens. I know where she get it, but it is only July!

On the up side I can spread out the spending by being finished with her supplies and only having to complete the fifth grade list and the kindergarten supply list, that is, if there is anything GOOD left at the end of August. Oh well, we will just have to take our chances.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Things I'll Never Undertand

1. How people can wait in line for ten hours to buy a Harry Potter book

2. The energy of toddlers and the fact that they run EVERYWHERE

3. Algebra

4. The infinite uses of a computer

5. God's amazing power in creation

6. Hormones

7. Why Parmesan cheese smells so bad, and tastes so good

8. Child abuse...those folks will rot in hell

9. People who own seventeen cats.

10. Clothes that fit when you purchased them and two weeks later feel tight

11. Flowers that stink

12. gravity

13. What happens to all of the garbage

14. Microscopic bugs that live amongst us

15. How an enormous jet can fly through the air

16. Weird dreams in the middle of the night.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

It Was Just the Beginning

I would never have guessed what would have transpired over the past two days. If I thought long enough it makes sense. I didn't think long enough.

After doing a load of laundry from the barfing child the ball began rolling out of control and has yet to stop. If you get queasy from reading about things that come from bodies, do not read on.

At 5 pm my littlest child began feeling better and my 10 year old threw up. His birthday was the next day so I desperately prayed that he would be well when he awoke. I sent him to bed early and he spent the next several hours with the dry heaves. By 9:00 pm his cousin threw up. By 2:00 am his other cousin threw up. By 3:00 pm his little brother threw up, and by 3:30 it was my turn. He had a very UNeventful birthday as everyone laid around all day. I could not move from the bed until this morning while my sister-in-law did loads of laundry the entire day. All in all, it was very awful. Out of twelve people, only four did not get sick...why not those four? Some things I will never understand.

Today I actually managed to eat something other than saltines and half of a banana. It reminded of the saying from the movie, "The Devil Wears Prada." The one receptionist, before she is supposed to go to France for a big fashion show says, "I'm only a stomach flu away from my ideal size." OOOH, I would not wish that upon anyone!

Almost everyone is up and moving except for my brother. Motorcycles and quads sit as we watch another rain storm pass through, but there is ice cream in the freezer and coffee to be made. Who needs motorcycles?

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Who Are You?

You can tell a lot about a person if you sit at their computer, click on the google history and see what comes up on the screen. Here is a snapshot of me through the eyes of my Google history:

  • Pick Up Stix: Okay, so I love their House Chicken with Vegetables and I also wanted to know if they took American Express. Yes, they do.

  • Fire fighter costume:My four year old thinks that he need another costume for his collection of dress up clothes so we looked at some pictures. He has been screaming for me to order one ever since. At times he is not very nice.

  • I am a writer, who needs word variety.

  • yahoo maps: I like to know where I am going and how long it will take for me to get there.

  • Fighter pilot costume: We saw one of these in a fancy schmancy boutique down near the beach and they were charging $70.00...yikes. Online it is $59.99, still no real bargain. My six year old will have to wait until Christmas.

  • Saddleback Hospital: My friend just had a baby! She adopted embryos and had them implanted in her uterus. Now she has a new baby from random parents. They are not entirely random. The family hand selected she and her husband to adopt the embryos just like a live adoption.

  • Houston's Restaurant: I had a date night with the hubby. I had fillet mignon...yum!

  • rimadyl for dogs: My 15 year old dog has stiff joints. Do you blame him?

  • linking verbs list: I was editing a book for someone. Did you know that you never end a sentence with a verb or linking verb. ("Where have you been?" should be "Where were you?") BORING I'm sure.

  • cap guns: my boys want these but I cannot seem to locate them in the town where I live. I may have to drive to Arkansas. If I ordered them online I would pay for for the shipping then the actual gun.

  • We need ceiling fans.
  • Teacher from the Black Lagoon book: My little kids adore these books. My husband and I were curious about the author.
  • Hairless dog: This is actually a dog which was named the ugliest, but it may as well be hairless too.

Who are you according to your Google history?

Friday, July 6, 2007

I Wish That...

  • Clothes ironed themselves
  • Fast food restaurants gave a discount if you refused the kid's meal toy
  • We had a pool
  • I had a shed-free dog
  • My carpet wasn't stained
  • People did not speed down my street
  • We had a money tree
  • Coffee had MORE caffeine
  • All my friends lived on my street
  • I had time to read
  • I could remember everything I needed at Target the first time instead of having to go there twice in one week
  • My children did not ask me to buy them something from every store we visit
  • My front tooth didn't have a brown tinge
  • The gargantuan vein running down the full length of my leg looked cool
  • I had a full time errand runner
  • People did not run red lights
  • My brother and his family lived closer

What do you wish?

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Happy Fourth!

What a great time of the year! We have made our second trip to the booth to purchase fireworks. My boys have suddenly all become pyromaniacs and cannot get enough. They have deemed this holiday better than Halloween, for now. Smoke Balls and Snakes by day and fountain and Sparklers by night. When I ran out of matches two nights ago you would have thought I told them that their dog had died.

Speaking of the dog, I threw up a little when I vacuumed the house and witnessed the amount of dog hair in the catch all, see through, tube attached to the vacuum cleaner. After mopping the floor, and finishing the vacuuming, I brushed the dog to get rid of the residual hair. It looked like we just had a down fall of snow. Gobs of dog hair littered the back yard. He is getting crew cut very soon.

We live in a fantastic country! Happy 4th of July! Make sure that you have plenty of matches!