Learning Lent

My husband chuckled when I told him that I gave complaining up for lent. I recently learned during an Ash Wednesday service, why it is important to give up something so that I can receive more of what God is teaching me. We were encouraged to say “no” to ourselves in order to say “yes” to Jesus. I sat during the service and pondered that which God was asking me to give up.

I like to complain so I understood that this is something that I need to work on saying “no” to. My test was seriously challenged when I had to make my 4th trip to the DMV in 3 months. My "not complaining" and I had a good run until we came face to face with the dredges of the DMV. 

After driving around the parking lot for 10 straight minutes unable to find a parking space, I left and reentered. Another few minutes left me parking space-less so I exited and tried again to no avail. After 20 minutes of searching I parked illegally in a passenger loading zone. The walk to the entrance was littered with complaining.

I stepped into the “appointment only” line and was only one of 5 people. It took me 45 minutes to move 10 feet. Complain, complain, and complain. When we finally reached to point where we could be finished, the woman behind the counter informed me that I didn’t have the proper documents. I had them last month but needed to start the process all over again and redo all of the document shuffling. At this point I cried. Crying felt right and complaining felt like a good best friend to my crying.

For me, the Lent journey is difficult. Step on, go, fall off, get back on, slip away, start again, trip and fall, try again, fail, try some more, fall off, get it right, get it wrong, question my stamina, question my self-control, ask God for forgiveness, try again, and repeat. In that journey, I know that my “get it rights” mean more to God than my “fails,” and my “try agains” have more impact than my “get it wrongs.” I also know that God loves my heart, and that my heart really wants to stop complaining. 

I have another appointment scheduled for the DMV in March. I will ride my skateboard there in order to avoid parking, bring six books for anticipated wait time, wheel in a file cabinet of documents including family photos and clipping of our child's first haircut, smile at the guy talking at a level 7 to his girlfriend on the phone, and refrain from complaining--hopefully.


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