Only
once did I exit Toys R Us and
actually enjoy my time spent there. Once. I had all four kids with me and our
biggest boy had to use the restroom. Having the skill of knowing the exact
location of every public restroom within a five-mile radius of our home is the
mom talent for which I am quite proud.
There
was a pay phone bolted to the wall between the bathrooms and when our boy was
retuning to the shopping cart, he glanced at the pay phone and with shock,
reached to grab the pile of money that was sitting on the ledge, forty dollars.
We immediately reported the missing cash and no one claimed it. What joy. Toys
for all! This was a good day at the toy store.
Most
visits to the toy store involved screaming at children who were writhing in frustration
because I wouldn’t pull out my wallet and throw money at them for unnecessary
purchases. Most times, my youngest was rolling on the floor and I was dragging
him out by his arm in full disgust to the rest of the consumers making
purchases. Typically my visit would be littered with the words “not today” as
we perused each aisle and each child would chatter on about why they needed
something sitting stoically on the shelf waiting to be purchased.
One
particular time, a woman who I knew, was horror-struck when I plucked our
toddler from underneath the cart while he screamed and slugged me in the face.
Every cashier had their fingers poised, ready to call social services while
waiting for my reaction. It wasn’t pretty. Had any of the onlookers been mothers
of toddlers, they would have watched with sympathy, and applauded my best
efforts to not injure a child and the patience I exhibited by restraining from
returning to the car leaving all children behind, which was tempting, and still
is at times.
While
there is truth to the fact that tantrums typically are a result of the selfish,
narcissistic, innate make up of a child, tantrums can also be the result of
hunger, agitation, loneliness, or fatigue. This proves true for all ages of
children, and adults as well. I have been known to shed some ugly when I am
hungry so I make a point to carry snacks and water to conceal any opposing
foulness. I also carry snacks for our kids who also have a genetic propensity
for hunger horror.
Look
up the synonyms for the word agitation and it is no wonder that kids throw fits
when this family of words is prevalent. Anxiety, worry, distress, nervousness,
and all of their siblings are enough to make anyone throw a fit of rage.
Finding out the reason for the agitation is part of the battle. When I am able
to address the core issue, talking through the frustration before hand can
often curb an outburst.
There
is an unexplainable magnetic force that pulls words from a child’s mouth the
minute I begin talking to an adult. When they aren’t getting my full attention
they will do nearly anything to pull me away from meaningful adult
conversation. A situation like this one hardly counts at their being lonely,
but sitting in a shopping cart for 30 minutes without moving, or parents being
gone or away for lengths of time can set off an emotional explosion.
In
addition to my famish trauma, fatigue is my other archenemy. When I am tired I
grab a caffeine-laden beverage to make the exhaust evaporate. If I am home, and
can squeeze in a 15 minute power nap, life is good. Children need naps. One of
our kids fought nap taking which resulted in a 45 minute routine to get them to
fall asleep. It was worth every minute. Tantrums and tired are best friends.
Whether
an outburst is a result of hunger, fatigue, agitation, or loneliness, knowing
this can help any parent take steps to avoiding tantrums, however, there are no
guarantees. Avoiding all toy stores is another safety precaution, unless of
course you have gobs of money that you enjoy throwing away or can wear bubble
wrap for protection from ensuing, angry, punches.
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