Overtime for the Tooth Fairy

After four children, 40 teeth, and numerous amounts of dollar bills, I just don’t get excited about the fact that my 8 year old is losing teeth like a puppy, and unfortunately for him, his adult teeth aren’t coming in as quickly as they are falling out. His smile resembles that of an 80 year old, Mountain Dew addict, from the hills of Wisconsin, with no dental plan. However, his great hair and charming personality supersede his shortcomings.

Recently he has been handing me his teeth while I am driving, or yanks them out at school and then hands me his tooth when he arrives home. The temptation to toss them in the garbage is irresistible, but I resist. After he forgets to tell me to put them under his pillow at night, the entire tooth losing excitement is over shadowed with daily tasks. In the morning, when the dollar bill is supposed to be safely tucked under his pillow, in my haste and quick thinking, I throw a dollar bill on the floor and tell him that the tooth fairy must have dropped it. I also grab a dollar from my purse when he isn’t paying attention and tell him that I found the bill in my car. He believes me after he remembers that he handed me his tooth while I was driving.

I’ve considered gently placing a dollar on top of the trash pile in the garbage can and telling him that the Tooth Fairy had to dig in the garbage to find his tooth, but I think that would hurt his feelings.

I have no immediate plans for the 40 teeth I have stored in zip lock bags in my closet and drawers, and honestly, I am surprised that I am still mom by day and Tooth Fairly by night, especially after my 17 year reign. By now the rulers of Tooth Fairy Land are embarrassed by my lack of enthusiasm and by now I should have been demoted to pixie dust sweeper upper or wand polisher.

Perhaps I’ll fashion together a bracelet or choker necklace with the teeth I have collected from my children. Although wrapping them in pretty paper and satin ribbon and giving them as a gift to them and their spouse on their wedding day would make for great present opening conversation.

This tooth fairy is tired. Too tired to do the role justice, but carry on I must, and I do, even if the effort is slight and the pay is low.


Cheri said…
No joke - EXACT same scenario in our house when #4 child has lost/loses teeth. And yes, my drawer is full of those tiny chompers too. I've been secretly hoping they'll be of value someday, just like our gold jewelry from the 80's. I'll let you know when I host my first home party and you can cash in on your collection!