Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The Foibles of Facebook Folly - Part 2

To prevent your fascination from Facebook from morphing into a wedge driven between you and your spouse the following must be exercised continually:

1) Remember the rules. Mignon McLaughlin said “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." Remember why you fell in love in the first place and the vows you quoted on your wedding day. Recommit to the vows daily and to making your marriage successful.

2) Rejuvenate the relationship. When I make a point to schedule in date nights filled with conversation and hand holding, and evenings alone on the couch with my husband, our marriage grows. When I work on making my marriage better I contribute to our growing together as a couple as opposed to our growing apart.

3) Refocus when temptation tickles. I joke about the fact that we need to invite John Stamos for dinner, however, if he did come for dinner and my husband left me alone with John, I may decide that John needed a back rub. Case in point, I won’t ever ask John Stamos over for dinner. I avoid situations that may cause my massaging fingers, or thoughts, to wander. No one is immune to temptation, but we all aware of the illuminated exit signs.

4) Regulate media intake. Set a timer. When I limit the amount of time that I spend on Facebook, I make a point to connect with real friends instead of searching for new ones. Since I realize that in just a few clicks I could potentially be on a page I should avoid, I circumvent clicking by staying put and by not sitting in front of the computer for an uncommon length of time. I also turn off my "chat." I don't want to be chatting or exposing my self to being open to chat with just anyone.

5) Realize the repercussions. I imagine sitting my four children down at the kitchen table and telling them that everything that they believed to be true about me and my relationship with their Dad was a gigantic lie. The damage, guilt, tears, anger, and harm, that would ignite because of an affair aren’t worth the cheap thrill.

There are no doubt voids living deep inside stay-at-home moms, overworked spouses, lonely people, and those experiencing marital misery. A door harmlessly unlocked could be pushed open to reveal a myriad of harmful opportunities, when in essence the unlocked door should be a cry for help.

Whether my first love Craig, has grown to resemble Johnny Depp or Ben Stiller doesn’t matter. What matters is the fact that I married a man who adores me, thinks I’m sexy, can cook better than Bobby Flay, and is a Christ following man. Although I may be prone to wander, I choose to stay.

"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility." Leo Tolstoy

"I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I'll be the first to admit that it's possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you." Zig Ziglar

"Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." I Corinthians 13:7

Marriage is more than finding the right person. It is being the right person.

No comments: