Craig was my first love, and my first kiss as a slight, fourteen year old girl, full boy curiosity. I would walk the mile or so to his house on weekend nights and the two of us would escape to the cab of his father’s Ford to talk. [Ahem]. We were going to get married. This I knew since most of the entries in my yearbook made this future prediction.
After a year into our relationship, my parents divorced. My heart and I moved 20 miles away, and my relationship with Craig ended. I dated other guys, had short and long term relationships, got married, got divorced, fell deeply in love, married again, had four children, and rarely cast a thought in the direction of Craig or our time together. As a happily married woman of 20 years, I had no reason to think about Craig.
One night my husband sat watching a drama on the television in the other room as I sat visiting with friends on Facebook. I began reminiscing about my junior high days and wondered what had become of the friends I held such tight bonds with prior to our move. As I began typing names into the search bar, Craig’s name came to mind. How did he look now after so many years? Was he married? Did he live in my town? Was he fat and bald? These questions plagued me so I typed out his name expecting current photos and information to pop up curing my curiosity. No results. I was still wondered about his whereabouts, so I typed his name into the search engine on my computer, still no results.
I considered for a moment the $2.99 payment which popped up promising more information about Craig but just I was about to probe deeper into my search, I heard my husband’s laugh fill the living room. I stopped what I was doing and rethought my motives. What was I doing? Why was I so curious about Craig, and what would my husband think if he sensed my frantic search. I turned off my computer and joined my husband in the other room, where I confessed the details of my search and assured him of the futility of my actions.
I had no intention of chatting with Craig if my search was successful; however, I am not alone in my being tempted by the titillation of Facebook folly with former lovers and other interesting men who have since been blown into my distant past. It's no wonder that Internet extramarital affairs are rampant, and according to statistics, 1 out of 5 divorces site Facebook as the culprit.
A staggering 79% of the people who cheat on their spouses via Facebook are women. What starts as a curious search often progresses into fantasizing about further connections and physical interaction. The fantasy escalates into chatting, where an emotional relationship is developed, and over time, a physical encounter takes place, resulting in a dissolved marriage.
Although a fascination via Facebook which begins to advance is often difficult to discontinue, Facebook doesn’t cause people cheat on their spouses. Facebook is an instrument, when used incorrectly, can causes men and women to wander, and marriages to disintegrate.
Everyone, while on the computer, should ask themselves, “If my spouse walked in the room and stood behind me, would I feel awkward or embarrassed by what they saw?” Of course the embarrassment of having an 80 pound pig and golden egg on Farm Ville is the exception. Curiosity is often an excuse for something deeper.
Join me for Part 2 tomorrow where I explain the ways to keep your facinations from turning into folly.