Saturday, November 20, 2010

Sitting

Every Saturday I sit. I wait for our 14 year old while he spends two hours in an acting class. The class is 25 miles from home so dropping him off and picking him up at the end of the class is not an option.

I am always the first to raise my hand and offer to drive him to class because I enjoy the sitting. I enjoy drinking coffee and hanging out with my computer. I enjoy the fact that no one is beckoning or demanding anything from me. I enjoy watching other people drinking coffee and plucking away at computer keys. I feel normal.

I miss time like this. Since returning to full-time work relaxing has become more difficult. I feel guilty for pulling out a magazine at home and sitting on the couch and my writing brain seems constantly stuck in the "off" position. If I am at home there is always something to do so I do it.

My time on Saturday is forced relaxation. I don't take my work computer but instead take my personal computer. I stick headphones in my ears so that I cannot hear my phone. I feel free. I feel guilt free.

Although my two hours goes quickly, I love Saturday.

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