Monday, August 9, 2010

Large, Jumbo, and Giant

Whatever happened to small, medium, and large? When I order a large drink from a fast food restaurant, the soda cup that they hand me could be used as a tank for 7 fish. On the other hand, the small fry that I get with my kiddie pool cup is a small pouch with 13 fries inside.

A tall is not tall. A tall is small. A grande is not large or grand, it is medium, and normal sized. And a vente is Italian so I don't have any clue whether that is big as in fish tank size, or large as in slightly bigger than medium. I don't speak Italian.

If I order a scoop of ice cream for dessert, gelatto is twice the price of ice cream and half the size, and a single scoop of ice cream from Rite Aid is large and filling, and only costs a dollar. A soft serve cone from McDonald's is only a dollar, while a small soft serve cone from Dairy Queen is the same size, but twice the price. Personally, I like more bang for my dollar. Taste is secondary.

Although movie concession stand food is off the charts expensive, I do like splurging on a popcorn purchase every so often. While the small size is too small, the extra large is enough to feed my entire family, and the free refill is an extra bonus, even though the price tag should include a pedicure and shoulder massage.

The best popcorn bargain around is the bag of popcorn from Target. With the same amount of trans fat goodness, and fake butter flavoring. I can purchase one bag for each child, and still only spend $4.00. Thanks Target.

The other day we ordered pizza for my son's 14th birthday party. Nine teenage boys have the appetite of a pack grizzly bears waking from hibernation. My husband suitably ordered three jumbo pizzas. Little did we know that jumbo was actually a medium sized pizza, while giant was actually the largest size. We ran out of food and had to pick up 15 hard shell tacos in order to tilt the appetite meter of the starving boys even after we included chips and watermelon. Preposterous.

I would prefer a regulation on sizes according to weight. That way, if I order a large soda at Chick Fil' A or a large soda at Del Taco I am getting the exact same amount of soda. Price would still vary, I'm sure.

The guessing game continues, and so, the next time I find myself ordering coffee, a bag of popcorn, or pizza, I'll be sure and dissect the definition of jumbo, giant, grande, small, and extra large, because for all I know, these could all be the exact same size.

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