Social Filter

Children do not have social filters which help them discern whether or not what they are thinking should escape from their mouths.

"Why does she have pink hair?"
"That man has a big belly."
"Why are you so small?"

When I taught second grade the experience was humbling.

"You have a hole in your sweater."
"What is that brown spot above your lip?"
"Why is your front tooth yellow?"

Explanation was defeating since I had no idea what they were talking about in the first place. Yellow tooth? Where? What brown spot? Do I need an immediate lip wax? Where is a candle?

Some adults lack a social filter.

"Your baby is too young to be outside."
"I liked your hair better the other way."
"You've gained some weight, good, I've always thought that you were too thin."

Men have no social filter.

"Dude, you're fat. Lay off the burgers!"
"Your wife is way too good looking for your mug."
"Did you borrow those shoes from your dad?"

My middle mister has a very good friend who is on the smaller side of the growth chart. I have tried to explain the social filter to him since he is always telling his friend how small he is, and that he has small ears. I think that he is beginning to understand how this might hurt his friends feelings, but who knows. Kids always tell it like they see it.

I hope that my social filter is always in the "on" position, although I'm sure that I have said things which sure not exactly acceptable, socially. I have a lot of things that I need to work on. It is a good thing that perfection is saved for eternity, I am a work in progress.


Lisa Diederichs said…
This is awesome. Here are a couple comments I heard when subbing (about ten years ago):

1. "Why are you wearing shoes that are to big for you?" (Because they are super cute and didn't have my size okay!?!)
2. "Why are you growing a mustache?" (Before my waxing/laser hair removal days).

Kids ... they keep you humble!
Becoming Me said…
Great post!! Reminds me of the Harry Connick Jr. Character in the movie PS I love you.
Sarah Markley said…
no, i didn't read you yesterday. sorry.

yes. what about all the stuff people say when you are pregnant: "I don't think you can get any bigger!", "Are you sure you aren't due like tomorrow?"

thank you, like i hadn't looked at my naked pregnant body in the mirror.