Driving 74 m.p.h. on the freeway in the fast lane is not fast enough - evidently.
When I take off my jeans, there is a seam indention tattooed on my thigh, that’s okay right?
When you are making a right hand turn on a green light, and a pedestrian is crossing the street toward your car, while you are waiting for the person to pass your car and hop up onto the sidewalk, it is okay for the cars behind you to honk since they cannot see the pedestrian.
When the children in your car are asking too many non-sensical questions, turning the CD up to drown out their voices is a great technique. Although, they will just yell at you to turn down the music and you tell them “No, I like this song.”
McDonald’s Ranch Snack Wraps taste good two days in a row, but not three. McDonald's fries at room temperature taste horrible.
What is the bra size smaller than an A cup? This is a must know situation.
If you set your alarm for 6:30 a.m. your youngest child will enter your bedroom at 6:13 a.m. robbing you of your last 17 minutes of sleep.
When you kill one fly, eight more will enter your home.
Do not attempt to make a smoothie using strawberry lemonade.
The minute you purchase pumpkins to decorate your porch for October the weather will heat up to 85 degrees. Do pumpkins melt?
Getting four children ready for picture day scares me. Thursday I will be waking at 4 a.m. Proper coiffing takes time. I will be armed with pomade, styling gel, and man spray.
Coffee tastes better when used to wash down a slice of cinnamon-topped snack cake.