Panty Lines

I need to know. When did panty lines become so offensive? With the age of thong underwear in full swing I tried to recall when the cross over from underwear, which profoundly covered the private places, was replaced with the ever-so-comfortable, exposing the private places—thong.

I admittedly adhere to the fashion phenomenon. (Did I just call thong underwear a phenomenon?) I think that people who tell you that you get used to them, and the way they feel, are…well…liars. Which part of having a small patch of synthetic, elasticized, material shoved up your behind, shouts to the world, “Ooooh that feels great!” On the other hand, with the panty perfectly placed in the crack area, any and all seat picking is eliminated.

Since I am a mother of small children I have been “walked in on” by my little friends while dressing myself. If I am midway through pulling on my jeans and have not yet had a chance to cover my hiney, the youngest will curiously bend down, and looking into my butt with a confused stare ask, “Where did your underwear go?” I choose not to go into much detail and quickly change the subject to clear the mental picture he recently developed. I then offer him a piece of bubble gum. He loves bubble gum. My proposal works.

Personally, I think we should all go back to wearing brightly colored “granny pants.” At least then we could forget about pants entirely and just wear a matching bra. People would just assume we were sauntering about in our bathing suits, and there is nothing wrong with that.

I always go to Target in my bathing suit. That's okay, right?


Amanda said…
AGREED. I'd rather go panty-LESS than wear a thong.
Amy said…
Totally! I hate thongs--on me, and on those poor girls who wear them with ultra-low-rise jeans so that you can see the thong as they walk around.

To me, Spanx is(are?) the answer to the thong. Love those things.
ok, not yet being a mom, I've not been "walked in on" during that really vulnerable phase of dressing, but your telling is pretty funny. And hooray for bubble gum. If only more awkward situations could be cured with the pink stuff...
I saw an item featured on edition) called "nundies". They are these cute bits of disposable material that sticks to the inseam of your pants. Kind of one step before going commando. Kind of cool...oh, and they are sold in the US.