As I mentioned previously in, “My Last Drink” post, I am officially an idiot and the idiotic ways continue, which is very scary.
Most women dream of pedicures and shopping all morning when they have all of their children in school, and are finally alone and free. On the other hand, on my first day alone in thirteen and a half years I signed up to work in my Kindergartner’s classroom. I can’t even lie and say that it was a mistake and I signed up on the wrong day. I have no excuse-none.
After dropping all of our happy faced children in their appropriate classrooms at 8:30 I walked to the school office to sign in as a campus visitor and don the proper name tag. I walked back to the Kindergarten room and sat until 8:40 when the teacher was ready to put me to work.
The class was studying the letter “C.” Each child was part of a group that rotated to a different station every fifteen minutes. My instructions were to play, or lead my group in playing “Candy Land.” After ONE HOUR AND TWENTY MINUTES of Kindergartners and Queen Frostine I left the school with visions of lollipops dancing in my head. I went for a 45 minute jog, then went to my mother’s house to shower. She lives close to the school and I was running out of time.
Upon finishing my shower and dressing, I had exactly nine minutes until it was time to drive back to school and pick up the two youngest children. Wow. Can you even handle my exciting day with all four children in school?
I sat on the bar stool and mentioned in a sullen voice, “Six minutes and counting.” My mother looked at me, without a stitch of sympathy and said, “It’s your own fault.” I hate when she exposes the obvious so blatantly.
Yes, it is official, I am an idiot, but I have very grand plans for next Tuesday. I am getting a pedicure, sipping Starbucks coffee, and reading magazines with more pictures than words, for exactly three and a half hours. I may even run around barefooted and pop a couple of chocolate bon bons. My plans also include being very far away from any and all Kindergartners.