Fun Dip Tip

I have been forced to adapt to some unconventional ways of keeping my children quiet and happy. If you are an organic buying, label checking, red dye number four avoider, you make get nauseous reading the following. Consider yourself warned!

When the opportunity arises for me to make a overdue phone call, take a quick jog, or sit down for a few moments at the computer, desperation takes control of my "Keep the children busy" thoughts and any inclusion of heath and nutrition are thrown out the front window.

The other day I needed to make a very important phone call at 8:30 in the morning. As you well know, and can relate to entirely, when I pushed the number into my phone, all of the children were busy and happy. When the person on the other line greeted me, the flood gates of "I need you" burst into my bedroom from three of the four children, complete with tears and shouting. In attempts to comfort the teary one and keep the other two complacent, I walked to the freezer, smiled, drew from the bottom drawer of my freezer ice cream sandwiches, and handed one to each of my children. Smiles formed, tears dried, and viola! I had just bought myself fifteen quiet minutes.

Another morning, the need arose to have children be happy and busy in my absence. Knowing that I wanted to go jogging, and leave the thirteen year old, who no one listens to, in charge of the younger folks, I purchased four packs of Fun Dip candy and handed them out upon my departure. Forty minutes later I returned to well-behaved children, with blue teeth, and Fun Dip shrapnel littered throughout my living room. This was not my idea of a great breakfast, but my plan worked! The thirteen year old vacuumed the grainy tidbits from the floor, and I was able to burn some calories. Please hold your applause.

Tomorrow I need to run some errands. Perhaps I should make ice cream sundaes for breakfast and borrow a gaggle of puppies. That should buy me an hour - at the very least.


Mel said…
You are totally my kind of mom! I need to buy more candy to quiet down my kids!