At some point we were only allowed
to call our only daughter Mrs. Jumbo. This followed her obsession with the
movie Dumbo and her compulsion to
nurture a fictional elephant painted on a television screen. For Halloween she dressed
as a newsboy, donning tweed boy pants, red suspenders, and a Scottish touring
hat because “Elephants don’t dress up as elephants, silly,” she remarked.
While most girls in the 1st
grade had their bedroom strewn with princesses, all things glitter and fluffy, and
closets bulging with tutus, and dresses that twirl, our girl was swooning over
animals, not cute animals, ugly ones. Her room was lined with posters and photos
of varying sizes of bat species and her shelves were heaped with non-fiction
books about Vampire bats, Fruit bats, and all types in between. Her jeans
pocket was home to a stuffed bat with long brown wings and tiny ears and, if
they were available, her comforter, sheets and pillowcase would have been
printed with frightening flying creatures. There’s a reason why bat sheets
aren’t available, anywhere.
While we secretly hoped that her
bat fixation would pass, quickly, we always welcomed a new bat book, key chain,
or plush into our home without hesitation. While talking about bats we withheld
wincing and spoke positively about their behaviors keeping all bat opinions
impartial. We celebrated national bat week, viewed bat videos on YouTube
together, and visited museums which housed bats and their habitat. When her
birthday arrived, we enthusiastically threw her a bat themed party complete
with bat shaped cookies. We embraced bats. Figuratively speaking.
Our only girl hated Barbie and
loved bats. Flying, blood sucking, creepy, fly-in-your-hair-and-get-stuck,
bats. She has never owned a doll or Hello Kitty pillow, and was more interested
in drawing dolphins on doodle pads than painting toes and fingernails.
After the bat stage passed our only
girl went through a phase of pulling her hair into a ponytail and wearing boys’
basketball shorts and t-shirts every day. She never played basketball or any
sport requiring the taming of unruly hair or baggy and breathable shorts. This wardrobe
lasted 3 years.
Our. Only. Girl.
And while I thought that she would
never wear a dress, they are now her favorite, and when a birthday warrants
celebration, she opts for a manicure and shopping for shoes. Her Instagram
account is strewn with elements in nature, mugs brimming with cappuccino, and
adventures with friends, and she prefers yoga pants over shorts.
Every child in unique, with
different interests and skills. Celebrate the individuality of your kids. Find
the common thread no matter how different they are from you. Engage in
conversations surrounding things about which they love to talk and activities
they are interested in doing. Thankfully, stages pass, interests shift, and
maturity happens. Sameness is dull and ordinary is boring. Cultivate your
child’s distinctive personality. But be warned, you
may have to learn how to discern between a Little Brown and Bumblebee Bat.
My condolences.
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