My son came home with his first grade in high school. My soaring aspirations for for straight A's came to a screeching halt when the paper was placed before me. A C- was not what I expected. "I did really well on the test though. It's the beginning of the school year. I will do better." His words were reassuring for just a moment.
Again he approached me. "I got my test back in English. I didn't do as well as I thought." Strike two. "It's funny how my science teacher grades. He picks six questions out of 15 and grades those. I got 5 out of 6." My aspirations wain as each portion of information arrives. Strike 3. "Five out of six is not good son." I help him realize. "Why are you so critical?" he replies.
Lately, I feel desperate to go back to fifth grade where grades were under my control and finishing assignments was something I monitored. Consequences stung when work wasn't completed and lackadaisical attitudes were unacceptable. I could check every paper, and accepting help from me wasn't an option.
Although these things still hold true,the approach is different. I have less control. The weight is now on our son. Our 15 year old has taken responsibility for himself. Checking his work is now more difficult. I cannot hold his hand through high school. He doesn't want his hand held. I have though, made it very clear, that discipline is a must. The consequences are great: no varsity football games, loss of phone privileges, Facebook and other social networking on hold. He nods. He agrees. The grades must improve. We wait.
Again he approached me. "I got my test back in English. I didn't do as well as I thought." Strike two. "It's funny how my science teacher grades. He picks six questions out of 15 and grades those. I got 5 out of 6." My aspirations wain as each portion of information arrives. Strike 3. "Five out of six is not good son." I help him realize. "Why are you so critical?" he replies.
Lately, I feel desperate to go back to fifth grade where grades were under my control and finishing assignments was something I monitored. Consequences stung when work wasn't completed and lackadaisical attitudes were unacceptable. I could check every paper, and accepting help from me wasn't an option.
Although these things still hold true,the approach is different. I have less control. The weight is now on our son. Our 15 year old has taken responsibility for himself. Checking his work is now more difficult. I cannot hold his hand through high school. He doesn't want his hand held. I have though, made it very clear, that discipline is a must. The consequences are great: no varsity football games, loss of phone privileges, Facebook and other social networking on hold. He nods. He agrees. The grades must improve. We wait.
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