How do you Magazine?

I love magazines. I love when I have time to read a magazine. I love the smell of a shiny new magazine.

I skim magazines quickly, and often tear out photos of outfits that I like or articles I wish to save. Often times I will jot down a website I want to visit, or a handy cleaning/household tip that I want to remember, however, before I begin reading any magazine I have a system, a routine I must complete prior to reading.

I turn the magazine upside down so that the spine is facing upwards and the pages fall south. I then flip the pages so that all of the loose subscription cards fall to the ground. Step one.

Next, I set the magazine down on the table and flip through, watching for the parts of the magazine that stay open due to a large card or thick paged advertisement. I diligently tear out any cards, and remove any unnecessary thick pages that hinder a smooth flow through the glossy pages. Step 2.

The last step is to locate the perfume ads with the folded down flap. Typically, readers can open the flap exposing an array of scents and smells that are obtrusive and wrong, but the manufacturer assumes are pleasant. Some may even consider tearing the flap out of the magazine and rubbing the scent on their neck or wrist. I discard these at mock speeds.

Before the flap can be opened, I tear off the whole thick, scent holding pocket and toss it into the garbage along with all other annoying cards and ads I have gathered.

At this point in time the magazine is primed and ready for reading, however, by the time I "clean" out my magazine, the kids are complaining of hunger pangs, someone is texting me, and the television is suddenly blaring non-sense jabber from the living room. My magazine reading window has shut.

My husband on the other hand flips through magazines without removing anything. He typically finishes his magazine reading with a clear, open, reading window, and limited distractions. There is something to be said for suffering through a cluttered magazine evidently.

Perhaps I should get rid of my anal, organized, ways and subject myself to the glossy page clutter. In that case, maybe I could actually finish a magazine and my ever growing stack could actually shrink.