All Skate Slowly and Carefully

Songs on the radio fall into four categories: fast skate, slow-couples skate, backwards skate, and all skate.

Since the first job that I had where I actually received a pay check where my first and last name were printed with a computer type machine and not handwritten by my grandma's ball point pen was at a skating rink, I am especially partial to how songs go along with skating speed.

I like to say that I was raised in a skating rink, but that would be lying. My father and mother rarely visited the roller rink for the reason of skating. Usually their visits were derived from my need for a ride home, or for a change-of-clothes delivery so that I could stay after my shift and kick some male, floor guard behind, on backwards skating wearing something other than brown corduroy pants and a brown corduroy vest.

A song like "Dream On" by Aerosmith or "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin is a classic "couples skate" song. I would hold hands with a sweaty man-boy as we dreamily skated around the dim-lit wooden floor all aglow from the shimmering disco ball overhead.

"Enter Sandman" by Mettalica would have been the very best fast skate song. The best. I can almost feel the wind whipping through my hair sprayed bangs.

Backward skate songs need gumption and gusto like, "Rapper Delight" by the Sugarhill Gang. Also, an upbeat Earth, Wind, and fire song would be a fine fit for any backward skater. A very non-typical backward skate song would be anything by Captain and Tenille, or The Carpenters. Sorry Richard and Karen.

Elton John's, "Benny and the Jets" or the Who's, "Who are You" would be a perfect "all skate" pick. These have the perfect amount of sing-along rhythm without having the beginning skaters lose too much concentration.

I miss skating. There's nothing like a little stress release on the roller rink floor, while soaking in the smells of giant dill pickles, soda soaked carpeting, and foot odor spray seeped into the soles of rental skates.

Roller rinks are virtually obsolete. That's sad. I could use a good spin around on the floor.