Tuesday, July 26, 2011

He's Growing on Me


What happens when you go out of town with your husband, and Aunt Renee takes the kids to the animal shelter? They pick out a dog. Not just any dog, a small dog, a very small dog, with an under bite and boy parts.

Over the telephone, a few thousands miles away, it is hard to argue and debate a dog purchase when all four children are ooing and aweing at the prospects of another dog. You see, we already have a dog. She's wonderful in every way. She was adopted from a shelter in L.A. I think she worked the clubs prior to our adopting her. She still had glitter in her fur when she came home with us.

We would never do anything to upset the balance of Cali's alpha domination so another dog acquisition would require prayer and careful consideration. The kids however, had their own timeline=now. This urgency came as no surprise since I had been talking about getting another dog, a smaller dog. This idea obviously stuck with the children.

When my husband and I returned home, we had to wait a few days to pick up our newest pet. His purchase was done, sight unseen. The miniature cell phone photos did the dog no justice. I was convinced that a face to snout encounter would soften my heart and that utter satisfaction and bonding would instantly overcome the two of us.

On the day of doggie pick up, I packed the kids into my car, armed with a new collar, leash, and camera. We waited, and waited, and the little kids fought, and everyone was thirsty, and we waited, and we waited.

Finally he arrived, and my face drooped. I couldn't disguise my disappointment. He was too small, too odd looking, and bit me the moment I tried to pick him up to introduce myself. My disappointment was evident, and the children sensed it. I considered leaving him in the parking lot, but decided to reject the first impression and give him some time.

The first day he peed all over our house. He also bit everyone and growled when we tried to pick him up to snuggle. This was not fun. Buyer remorse was sitting in my gut.

The second day he peed everywhere, bit everyone and growled. The third, fourth, and fifth day he peed, growled, and bit everyone, and on the sixth day, we rested, not really but it seemed appropriate to say.

Kramer is wonderful. He is a great addition to our home. He loves everyone and we love him. Cali loves him and that is the most important element. He is especially excited when he sees me, not that I notice.

Buyers remorse--removed.

Heart--happy.

He's growing on me.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Can You Take Our Picture?

I never mind taking photos for people, never. In fact as an artist, my hope is that when they see the photo which I have taken they are amazed at the perfection, but that part I doubt.

The other day I was with our family at an event. We were all snapping photos of the students before they had to move to another section of the building. There are a group of women with whom I have spent a lot of time over the 10 years at the same school, and a few of us had gathered, talking about our sons and daughters while waiting to sit at our seats.

One of the girls pulled two of the gals next to her and I thought that she was going to say, "Can you find someone who can take our picture?" I thought that she meant the four of us. Just as I was about to step away and find someone, she handed me her camera, ousted me from the photo and said, "Can you take our picture?"

I was surprised that she didn't want to include me in the photo, but I got my feelings hurt, snapped the photo, and then walked away.

I thought that by this time in my life, at my age, I wouldn't care about getting ignored by the cool girl at school or pushed out of a photo with all the popular moms, but I did. That's the most upsetting part. I was hurt.

I wish that I was one of those people who could ignore a moment like this and move on, but I realized that I am not. Again, upsetting.

I wish that I could downplay the incident by convincing myself that the reason I was not asked to be in the photo is because my beauty and self confidence is too intimating and would have overshadowed everyone else. Again, not true.

The truth is, my friend was just snapping photo and didn't think twice about the situation let alone hurting my feelings. The truth is, I care too much about getting left out and about what people think. The truth is, I am insecure around certain people. The truth is I should just get over it and move on.

Since I have the entire summer to forget about the ousting, chances are my attitude will improve with time. And chances are, I will be avoiding all cameras just to protect my feelings.